Snow!

With the amount of time Tim and Whitney spent outside this weekend, you would have thought we got a foot of snow. Oh no, just under an inch and it was pretty much ice. Whitney loves being outside no matter what the weather condition is and this was her first real let's play in the snow and go sledding kind of winter.

She started the morning off with some time on the deck. I loved that I could stay in my PJ's and enjoy my coffee while watching her eat the snow. After about 45 minutes, Tim brought her in for some warm chocolate milk!

Then about an hour later they ventured out front and broke out the little blow-up sled we had picked up back in November. Tim pulled her around the neighborhood and found a good hill to send her down...many, many times. The squeals coming from her as she flew down the hill were just so adorable! After a good nap they made their way out again that afternoon and then finished off the weekend with some more time outside on Sunday afternoon. She thinks this was fun, wait till we really have a snow storm!

The Little Prince

Through this journey of losing a baby, I have met some extraordinary women. We are all part of a "club" that is one you don't want to join. However, through it all you have someone else who might know how you feel and can be there to listen when no one else understands. A friend sent me this beautiful card for Christine's birthday that just touched me in so many ways. I am posting this poem so I can always look back on it, but to also share it with you all as you remember a loved one that is no longer living.

What makes this poem even more unique to me is I understudied for this play a few years back. So, as I read this and think of Christine, I also have beautiful images to go a long with it. Funny how things come back into your life in ways like this. Thank you Sara and all the other baby loss moms that have been there for me!

In one of the stars

I shall be living

In one of them

I shall be laughing

And so it will be

As if all the stars

Were laughing

When you look

At the sky at night

And there is sweetness

In the laughter of all the stars…

And in the memories of those you love.

The Little Prince

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Christine's First Birthday

Today is a birthday at our house. Our baby Christine was born one year ago today. I have thought about this day since the day she was born. What will it be like. How will I feel. What will I do.

Well, we went about our normal day. Tim went to work. Whitney and I went to our weekly Bible Study class (I got to help out in her classroom today). I cooked dinner and went to my pre-natal Yoga class. And Christine was on my mind. Like everyday, the loss of my little girl still heavily rests on my heart. But one year later I can say that I am happy again...though it never seemed possible. I am thankful for the presence she has in our lives. We have grown so much in the last year and I am so grateful for the family I have and the little one that is coming soon. Christine has changed our lives forever.

We lit a candle today in her memory and watched it burn throughout the day. A little reminder she is always with us. We celebrated her spirit with some cupcakes. My amazing husband sent me flowers. Today was a good day.

This past weekend was dedicated to Christine as well. We decided it was time to spread her ashes. After we lost Christine, we couldn't wrap our minds around what we wanted to do with them. Months past and we didn't really talk about it. With the expected arrival of a new little one and her pending birthday, we knew the time had come. We decided on an idea that Tim had come up with last year right before she was born. We spread her ashes amongst some Cherry Trees in DC. Now every Spring we have a beautiful place to remember our little girl by. We know every year we might not make it down but we know that we can turn on the TV anywhere in the world and see this beautiful site. And to think that our family and friends will think of her when they see them makes me so happy.

Finally, thank you to our family and friends for the continued support. I feel relationships have deepened and conversations have been had that may not have been if it weren't for Christine. Every time you reach out or just mention her name, it means so much.

Gotta say hi to Mrs. Roosevelt!

No More Binkies!

We have been putting this off for a while. Finally, this past Friday Whitney gave up her binkies!

There are many methods out there and I molded together a little plan of my own. For the last month we have been talking to Whitney about how only babies use binkies. At first she would say, "No, Me!" But after awhile she wouldn't really say anything and we knew it was sinking in. I told her that we were going to put all her binkies in a box, put it on the front porch and someone would pick them up and take them to babies who need them. In their place, Whitney would be left a present. She was totally game. So, Friday morning we grabbed a flashlight and searched the bed for all possible binkies! The pictures below show the course of events.




About an hour later....






Has it been successful?? Well, lets say Friday's nap was a disaster and no sleeping occurred. First there were heartbreaking tears. Then it turned to anger and her "friends" in her bed took one for the team. The video monitor allowed for some pretty good entertainment but also it was good for making sure she had no injuries. That night she fell asleep in a heartbeat from sheer exhaustion. One minor 15 minute wake up at 1am. This weekend went very well. I think we are in the clear. No more binkies!!!!

Happy New Year!

I wish you all a very Happy New Year!

As the clock struck midnight I was overwelmed by many unexpected emotions. 2011 started with the loss of our 2nd daughter Christine and has shaped us in ways we could never expect. Through our grief we have found a stronger love for our family and brighter outlook as we approach each day.

At the end of 2011 we said goodbye to my grandmother Mimi. The holidays were just not the same without her but we definitely felt her in spirit. Mimi's love from her famiy is what helped her get through her last tough days and I am so grateful for the time we got to spend with her. I know Mimi is now in heaven with Pop and her parents just like she was ready to be. Also, I can't help but think how lucky she is that she is with my sweet Christine!

We look forward to a fresh new year and cannot wait to welcome our baby boy in April! Through heartache we have been so blessed to be expecting another baby. I pray everyday for his healthy arrival.

This New Year's weekend we got to spend time with some wonderful friends down in Kiawah. Sam, Brian and Nicolette made the drive down on Friday and Morgan, Stephen and Graham came out for New Year's Eve. We were able to spend a lot of time outside in the beautiful 70 degree weather. The guys went sailing on Tim's new Hobie Cat and the kids enjoyed some time in the sand. We ate well and created wonderful memories with our families. Hill Family, you were most definitely missed!

Tim's delicious Beef Wellington!

"Mama, what is this?"Assembling the Hobie CatPerfect sailing weather!

She would have dove in if I let her...it was freezing, but she didn't mind!We know who the princess is around here!

Holiday Festivites

I love when December hits and there are lots of holiday activities to get you in the Christmaspirit.

This year it started off with decorating our tree. Whitney was very helpful and took hanging the ornaments very seriously. She was very good about leaving the ornaments alone...we only had one casualty. She did have her own mini tree that she could undecorate and redecorate to her hearts content!

Her stocking...of course!

Baking! My desire to bake goes into full force around Christmas time. I make a variety of cookies but always one gets top pick. I was hoping to give them out to all my friends this year but that just didn't happen. I did make about 125 pizzelles and if you had some I hope you enjoyed them as much as I did!

Whitney's Christmas Concert. Whitney and I have been attending a weekly bible study and the kids had been practicing Christmas songs to perform for all the Moms. I had heard reports back from teachers that she loved music time and was so cute while performing. Performance day came and on the drive there I told her how there would be lots of people watching them sing but it was ok because they were all Moms like me. She seemed ok with this, however, when hundreds of Moms came flooding in and were snapping pictures left and right, Whitney was not too thrilled. She had a trembling lip and was very close to loosing it. But with her friend Leighton by her side, she held it together. She did the occasional hand movement they had learned, but mainly just sat there looking cute. Still a proud parent moment!

Cookie Decorating. This was the 8th annual Christmas cookie baking day up at my friend Gigi's (Kristin) house. Ann started going up there the year before I moved here, and we have continued the tradition every year! Whitney loves playing with Sophia and Damian and they are so sweet to her. Whitney definitely thought she was a big kid!

Breakfast with Santa This was our second year with the new tradition of Breakfast with Santa at River Creek with my parents. This year went way better! Though Tim and I did have to get in the photo, there were no tears. Whitney told Santa that she wanted Minnie for Christmas and after she left his lap acted like she just experienced the coolest thing ever! We always follow Breakfast with Santa with decorating my parents tree. Ann joins us for this day, and with 7 of us there, it gets done rather quickly. Then we make Nanny's sugar cookies! A family favorite!

Holiday Play Date This year Whitney and I held a holiday play date. A huge thanks so my mom and Marguerite for helping me prepare! We had so much fun with all our friends, we didn't get any pictures of the kids! Here are few of the food...the strawberries were a Pinterest find and super delicious!

Living Nativity The church we attend was holding a living nativity. With Whitney's love of animals I knew this was a must. We bundled up and got to pet all the animals!

Christmas Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were filled with lots of excitement. We started with a fun gathering at our family friend's house,the Green's. We had fun socializing with old friends but the highlight for Whitney was definitely the train which Tim patiently sat and helped her control the remote for about 45 minutes! We had a restful day at my parents house while we exchanged a few gifts. Then came home to have a delicious dinner with the O'Neills and exchange gifts with them. My parents then crept in late that night after church so they could wake up with Whitney in the morning. Marguerite made it over bright and early! We had so much fun watching Whitney's excitement as she opened her gifts. She was also very excited that the cookies and carrot we had left out were eaten. The O'Neill's joined us that afternoon and the two families spent a wonderful Christmas together! Brady, Niki and the kids were definitely missed! Whitney summed it up about by saying "Mama, I want more Santa!" Can't wait till next year!

Oh yeah, this guy came to visit too!Let the princesses begin!

Chocolate (soy) milk for Santa!

Who knew Tim was such an artist!